My son suggested that I start writing a blog quite some time ago, and I've pretty much been avoiding it because I didn't feel as if I had much to say. There are tons of blogs out there and I don't feel particularly compelled to add to the cacophony of voices out in cyberland. But today, I did something that I never thought that I'd do, and that decision galvanized me to share with all yall out there in the blogosphere. I live in a rural area. (Note, I didn't write country with a big C. Country with a big c is reserved for places where there are no neighbors-- AK, MT, and anywhere in general that requires you to negotiate dirt roads in order to get to your house. We can see our neighbors, so we live in a "rural area.") Anyway, those of us who live in "rural areas" have ongoing love-hate relationships with dogs. We love them live everyone else (think, Marley and Me), but we also have issues with dogs being abandoned and overruning our farms and property.
This morning I awoke to a golden retriever mix goofing off in the backyard with my Aussie. I put the golden in the back of our pickup truck and went in the house to cook breakfast. My county doesn't really have animal control, really, but I thought I'd call the sheriff to see what they suggested after I ate. I looked out the window and saw the dog casually walking around the backyard with one of my laying hens in its mouth. I freaked out (shouldn't have) and got my 243. That dog killed Ellie Mae and Sandburg, two of my well loved Barred Rock hens. (I'd raised them from pullets.) Anyway, I shot the dog.
I love dogs. I was raised with them, and I have been one of those doting, Petsmart shopping, dog- insurance having people. I was angry at the owners of the dog (it wore no collar but was clearly someone's pet), angry at my dog for not protecting our chickens, and angry at having to take the life of an animal. I hunt, fish, and eat meat, but I do not glorify the death of animals. It was hard to kill the dog-- I cried, screamed, and cried more-- but in the end, I wiped my tears, aimed, and delivered one true shot to end the life of the dog who killed the chickens who provide food, affection, and entertainment for my family. I cried because I failed to protect my chickens from harm, in broad daylight, in their own yard.
So, I decided to write today to share the complexity of life. To share the guilt of having to kill animals in order to live. (No knock to my vegan or vegetarian friends-- I love yall, too.) To dispell some of the self aggrandizement that comes with self-sufficiency and survival. In order for us to survive, inevitably something else has to die, be it animal or plant. That, dear blogosphere, is the profound conundrum. Now, I'm off to check on the girls.
